Reflections

I've been struggling with my self-image these days. There's been a lot that's come up over the course of the last six moths that's been kicking my ass and left me feeling like shit. I know I'm not the only one - a lot of my friends have been hit with all sorts of crap too. Breakups, changes, stress... you name it, it's probably happened to one, if not all, of us. 

That being said, I've learned a lot. I've grown. Yeah, I've spent a lot of my time feeling sick to my stomach and wanting to hide in a corner. Yeah, I've cried a lot. Yeah, it hurts. But I've realized who I can be, provided I get through it. Provided I believe that this too shall pass. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. It's a damn long way off, but it's there.

I'm better now, as a person, than I have ever been. I'm more confident in myself. I've grown as a leader, as a person. I'm learning how to rein my ego in and not make it about me all the time (I'm sorry, to those of you who have to put up with me during this transition. I love you!). I've learned that it's okay to be broken, to be vulnerable - that I'm not the only one. I've learned that I can do anything I set my mind to: be it getting a damn sexy set of abs in two weeks, or completing a really stressful project. I've discovered that I've got some of the best friends a girl could ask for. That I have a bloody brilliant family and fantastic siblings who are super talented. I've learned that I'm a bit of a gossip monger (not proud of that. Working on it). And, ultimately, I've learned that I am a woman worthy of being loved - both by myself, and by others. 

I know a lot of this sounds awfully narcissistic  but I felt like it needed to be shared.  It's been a long road and the journey isn't over, but it's been amazing. Yes, it's sucked balls. It still does sometimes. It's a struggle. It's fucking hard. But it's worth it. I can't express how bloody brilliant it is to be able to look in the mirror and see the possibilities, the good things. The flaws are still there too, but I can work on them. And I haven't chased my friends off yet, as far as I know, so they're definitely fixable.

So thank you, to the folks who continue to support me and stick it out with me through this. For the people who have been there while I've ranted at them. For those of you who may have no idea what's going on, but are here anyway. Thank you.